I have heard alot of opinions about the actual moment that a man truly becomes a dad. Is it when the firstborn makes his/her way into the world? Maybe when you change your first diaper. Maybe when a milestone is reached - first step, first solid food, first time throwing a ball through the living room window, etc. Maybe it doesn't happen until your own father has passed away, and you become the patriarch of the family. These are all wonderful ideas, and I'm sure that we can find merit in all of them. But I now know that I have arrived as a father. I now know that I am worthy of the title. I have faced a brick wall, and have proceeded to walk through without so much as a scratch....Because as of today, I have more than one package of toilet paper sitting under my bathroom sink. The significance of this moment cannot be overstated. For years I have been a typical man. No - a typical bachelor-type man. I buy toilet paper (toilet tissue for those of you with more tact than I - whatever - it all does the same job...) Anyway, I buy a pack, and if I'm lucky, it lasts through the week. If not, I hope that there are enough napkins left to do the job until grocery day. If not napkins, paper towels. If not paper towels, prayer....A new day has dawned, however. When I went to get groceries this morning, I found myself grabbing for a second package. Why, I asked, are you grabbing for that second pack?? You've never done this before, I thought. What is the purpose of this over buying, I pondered. Why do women go crazy over Tom Brady, depsite the butt-chin, I wondered. Before I knew it, the deed had been done, and I was staring at a cart full of toilet paper. Tissue. Whatever....
What then does this have to do with becoming a father??? Well, here's the deal. When I was growing up, my dad would have multiples of everything. Cereal, soda, chips, napkins, coffee, and yes, toilet paper. Tissue. Some of these things were kept in various places around the kitchen, while some ended up in our barn, in the cold, in order for them to stay fresher. As a teenager, I was often amused at how our cupboards resembled a grocery store. And God help you if you opened a new box before the old one had been finished. I still remember one of these conversations like it was yesterday.
"Ashley, why did you open a new package of Duplexes??" (Cheap Oreos for anyone that was wondering)
"I didn't know that we had any open."
"They're in the cookie jar, where they always are."
"I didn't look in there, sorry."
"Well now I need to buy a whole new package."
"But Dad, there are 5 more bags in the cupboard."
(Pause)
"Do you really think that's enough?"
This was my teenage life in a nutshell. Now keep in mind, I love my dad. I think he's a good guy with incredible intellect and a decent sense of humor. But up until the past couple of years, I didn't think that we had much in common. I have, naturally and inevitably, come to see the real truth. And today, I stared right into the face of oncoming dad-hood when I looked in my cart at my two packs of toilet paper and thought - "Is that really enough?"
What then does this have to do with becoming a father??? Well, here's the deal. When I was growing up, my dad would have multiples of everything. Cereal, soda, chips, napkins, coffee, and yes, toilet paper. Tissue. Some of these things were kept in various places around the kitchen, while some ended up in our barn, in the cold, in order for them to stay fresher. As a teenager, I was often amused at how our cupboards resembled a grocery store. And God help you if you opened a new box before the old one had been finished. I still remember one of these conversations like it was yesterday.
"Ashley, why did you open a new package of Duplexes??" (Cheap Oreos for anyone that was wondering)
"I didn't know that we had any open."
"They're in the cookie jar, where they always are."
"I didn't look in there, sorry."
"Well now I need to buy a whole new package."
"But Dad, there are 5 more bags in the cupboard."
(Pause)
"Do you really think that's enough?"
This was my teenage life in a nutshell. Now keep in mind, I love my dad. I think he's a good guy with incredible intellect and a decent sense of humor. But up until the past couple of years, I didn't think that we had much in common. I have, naturally and inevitably, come to see the real truth. And today, I stared right into the face of oncoming dad-hood when I looked in my cart at my two packs of toilet paper and thought - "Is that really enough?"
The new world has been conquered. Long live the king of toilet tissue. Paper. Whatever....
1 comment:
I think you are a nut!
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